There is little NA recovery around here. The county has a population of 1,200,000 and there are 42 NA meetings a week in the entire county. Once a week there was a meeting within walking distance to our house. The chair of that meeting was 38 years old, and got sober when he was 17. He tells everyone he has been sober for 21 years. Well, that's true. Andrew always laughed about it. He could not relate to that guy's story. The meeting averaged 6 people and 2.5 of them were high at any given meeting.
The next closest meeting I had to drive him to. It's at a rehab, and they let the person getting ready to graduate chair the meeting. They were young kids always. By the time you are 30, no one is paying your rehabs anymore. For awhile, a friend with a car picked him up and they drove all over the place to go to meetings. Then the friend moved.
AA is well established, and Andrew went to a few. Once again, he never found dope fiends like himself at AA. That's a credit to AA, that they have maintained a strong purpose to alcoholics. It's important. He was on suboxone at the time, and warranted or not, felt like a fraud there.
Everyone he knows who has quit heroin, does something else. Methadone, klonopin, Colt 45. He said "the only way a junkie like me can stay out of trouble is to be an alcoholic." His friends drink at home, stay off the road, avoid police contact. Heroin recovery here is defined as making it off parole. There must be examples of long term recovery, but they are not within walking distance of our house.
I don't know why this is. It's seems part of the general malaise and hopelessness that permeates everything here, from poverty, crime, abandoned buildings, and no money to turn on the street lights at night.
Andrew's move, from the city, from our home, has been God directed. Good things are happening, some of them he made happen. He has been to meetings with over 100 addicts. Just like him. His sponsor has 6 years off heroin, has his own business, and still goes to 7 meetings a week. Andrew had no example of anyone who has 6 years off everything. He is working for a man with 3 years, and the man is the same kind of doper he is. Andrew knows because he can see a few old track marks on his boss's arm.
They are just like me, he says. Then, "six years!"
Here is a great post on meetings with your own kind.
It's a bend in the road in the right direction. There is community and belonging in like minds. Andrew sounds like he's right where he needs to be today. Tomorrow has it's own bends. I've learned to live within each hour of each day. I believe Andrew will find that same sense of purpose. He's seeing years not months or days in those who are counseling him now...that is something.(Hugs)Indigo
ReplyDeleteYes, exactly where he needs to be today.
DeleteI felt like I had run into an old friend when I saw your name today! Do you remember the story of the girl on the park bench? I still have that.
Lou, your words bring comfort to me, even though no one is doping. I just needed some words of hope today. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteYou are always the rock for us. I wish I could help in a more tangible way.
DeleteMy son could not (or better, would not) get sober here, either. He moved over a thousand miles away and worked his tail off to get and stay sober. He still isn't a huge fan of meetings, but he goes to one almost daily. His favorite meeting is actually a meditation meeting. He LOVES it. I wonder if he'll be able to find a meeting like that here?
ReplyDeleteThe area you chose is going to have something for everyone. Such diversity, such recovery, such community..I think he will thrive there.
DeleteWhat truth you share. I'm glad Andrew has found someone now. It does seem so important to make that connection to another who is "like us". I know the stories of heroin are particularly disheartening. This week, one of our employees relapsed from a 2 1/2 year clean time - heroin. Two others are still in program but without much personal hope, it seems. But God is a god of the impossible. For him, all things are possible. The prayer is for them to know it's possible. Good post, Lou.
ReplyDeleteI know you have a realistic view of the odds. But look at the successes! Those that recover in the Salvation Army program are facing bigger odds than most. Knowing you believe in them is huge. Living your faith to them is enormous.
DeleteHope is indeed a gift for me, you and most especially our boys. Getting to that place of hope shows a lot of determination and perseverance. We are all so blessed.
ReplyDeleteI will be in Lexington the first week of March. Can we share some hope over coffee?
DeleteI'm gonna shoot for it. Lexington is only 3 1/2- 4 hours drive for me. I am so excited to meet you in person!
DeleteI wish Andrew still wrote a blog, I like him a lot. He knows himself well and that's always a good thing. I wish Keven would be more open minded to AA and/or NA. He's so negative about EVERYTHING and says he just meets dopers there and he can't be around them. Another excuse.
ReplyDeleteBarbara, Andrew had to try every single other way in the world before he would accept AA/NA. Keven is the young Andrew. He is going to have to be God smacked a few more times I believe. Sooner or later he will accept his way won't work. You just have to hang in until then. And Andrew said you were the nicest woman in bloggerland..really, he said it.
ReplyDeleteOh I just wanted to jump up and shout THANK YOU GOD!
ReplyDeleteWhen we find our people....all kinds of magic can happen.
For me, I have found my home in CA all these years. It is AA but with all mind altering substances. I say AA because the BB is our text. I HAD to be around crack heads who put down the pipe and still had a life to live.
I'm so so happy that Andrew has found a place that he fits in and can actually SEE recovery in action!
Oh Lou....God is pouring grace on Andrew right now...and I could not be happier...really.
I bet you are the glue that holds your group together. You are as excited about sobriety today as the very first 24 hours you made it through.
DeleteI've been seeing the light at the end of the tunnel for awhile. I have to remember to quit pushing him toward it.
I love that your boy has found a sponsor and they can relate to each other. What a gift! To the both of them! Love love love this!!!
ReplyDeleteI can't even articulate how amazing NA has been for my son. It has & continues to change his life daily in the most positive ways. I'm so grateful. Good post.
ReplyDeleteThis one sounds like a good start. A first placement on a god road i hope for his sake he takes the other foot and moves it forward as well, then you can say he is walking the talk.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad Andrew has found his place. It makes all the difference in the world.
ReplyDelete